You might think that any hookup is a good hookup. To a certain extent, this can be true—but there are still many ways that you can mess up a good thing. The fact that a hookup can be ruined is an important reason to make sure that you choose the best places to hook up with any slag you meet online. Even the dirtiest slag isn’t going to want to hook up somewhere bad. Spring for a nice hotel. In a pinch, someone’s apartment could work, but a hotel is by far and away the best place you can go. Here are a few of the locations that are so bad they made to the list of the worst hookup locations of all.

Your Parents’ House

The last time you should hook up at your parents’ house is when you’re 14. If you’re an adult and you’re still bringing women home to Mum and Dad’s place for a little fun, you’ve gone too far. If you can’t afford to move out into your own place, at least spring for a hotel. If you can’t afford a hotel room for a single night, we’re sorry—it looks like you can’t afford to hook up with this woman right now. Find yourself a better job, finish Uni, and try again. There’s no woman in the world that wants to be interrupted in the middle of sex by your mother banging on the doors, and the prospect of your father embarrassing you in front of a one-night shag with your baby photographs should be enough to make you permanently limp.

The Car

A car is the most common hookup for the young and the broke, and it’s one of the very worst. Sure, it might suffice when you’re a teenager with no other options, but it’s far from an optimal location to try and have sex, no matter what a hurry you’re in. One terrible thing about hooking up in the car is the fact that you’ll never have room to maneuver, so any positions are going to be much more uncomfortable than they need to be.

The Airplane Bathroom

We wish we could say we’ve never tried hooking up in an airplane bathroom, but needs must and we wanted to join the mile high club. At least you can learn from our mistakes. Do NOT attempt to hook up in the airplane bathroom. Not only is it minuscule and cramped, making it impossible to get into any kind of good position, but the walls are also thin. Everyone will hear you.

A Park Bench

The favorite of desperate teenagers in big cities, there are times when you just can’t wait during a romantic evening and you get the urge to go a little farther. Not only could you be arrested for indecency, but you could get freezing in certain weather, and severely traumatize some children walking by in others. Don’t forget all the CCTVs set up all over the country. You might not be the only ones enjoying yourselves.