One thing women love is when men speak other phrases. Even if you’re meeting up with a slag you met online, you still want to impress her with a little bit of culture that she might not get in her everyday life. One of the best ways to do this is to let her see just how good you are with your mouth. In fact, after you say a phrase in another language that impresses her, add, “You should see what else I can do with my tongue.” Keep her thinking along the right track. Tell her that the best way to hear it is up close, and lean in to murmur a phrase next to her ear. You’ll be able to feel the way her pulse skips a beat. The sexiest languages to learn phrases in are:

Japanese

The actual sounds of Japanese aren’t what are so beautiful, although they do have a certain aesthetic appeal. Better is the fact that it’s an intensely complex language. Better than even that is the fact that most women you meet off a site for slags aren’t going to speak a bare word of it, so if you mess it up, no one is going to call you on it. A few phrases of Japanese aren’t going to kill you to learn, and that’s all you really need to know. It’s such a difficult language that it’s almost impossible to learn right away, so just say you picked up a couple phrases on your travels.

Italian

Italian is one of the classic languages of love. Your date may very well know how to get around from the station to the Spanish Steps, but hearing a bloke from just up the road may be enough to sway her to be interested in what else you have to say. There are countless lines from Italian songs that sound gorgeous when translated into English, so learn a couple and wow her.

French

French sounds gorgeous as long as you don’t spit too much. If you paid attention at all in primary and secondary school, you probably still remember how to say, “Where is the toilet?” If you want to pick up a book of French songs or poetry, however, you’re going to soon have more women fawning over you than you know what to do with. Women love hearing a man speak French properly, but make sure you’re not going to spit on her if you’re not accustomed to using your throat in the same way.

Spanish

Spanish is one that a lot of women are divided on. It can be a stunningly gorgeous language, but for this one, stick to poetry instead of just any song. Spanish poetry is an extremely careful art of wordcrafting, making the sounds fit together, so take advantage of it for a few easy quotations to memorize and impress the girl you just picked up. She’ll thank you for it in a big way, and this can go over extremely well.

Tattoos are an awesome form of body art and self-expression, both for men and women. This is also something that will attract a lot of women, since many slags will be very intrigued by a man who expresses himself by getting a lot of work done like tattoos. However, there are certain kinds of tattoos that may sound fun at the time, but are less good for attracting women, especially after you’ve already gotten them home. We’ve found that some of the women we’ve met have been very turned off by the following tattoos.

Another Girl’s Name

Just like saying the wrong name in bed, no girl wants to see the name of another girl splashed across your skin. Even if you’d been married for 20 years and you’re only planning on spending one night with this woman, for women it’s all about the fantasy. They aren’t fantasizing about being someone’s second choice, so don’t make her feel like that’s what she is.

A Face Staring At Her

Studies published by the American Journal of Psychology have found that both men and women are more likely to feel compelled to honesty when they see a face, or eyes in particular, looking at them. Is that really how you want a woman to feel when she’s straddling you? Make sure she’s not going to feel all that freaked out when you take off your shirt, if you’re worried about her wanting to bolt.

Something Cuddly Being Murdered

Girls like cuddly things. Many blokes have gone through the phase of thinking that the subversion, of something cute and sweet being mauled by a monster or something, is hilarious. We’ve seen countless tattoos of teddy bears and puppies being mangled, and we can tell you right away: women are not into those tattoos one bit. It’s best to stick to something (just about anything) else if you want to keep having sex with random women. If you want to impress one particular bird you know would find it hilarious, go ahead—but be aware that she’s likely the only one who will find it funny.

Video Game Tattoos

There are plenty of women who love playing video games just as much as men do. However, you can’t trust that some random bird you find on a site for meeting slags is going to find your Super Mario ink as charming as you find it. You’re trying to pull off being a mature and intelligent adult, and most women are going to see that kind of thing as being quite childish and immature.

Naked Woman Tattoos

Women are not, by and large, aroused by the site of other naked women the same way that men are. This should not be a surprise. One of the things they dislike so much about seeing a tattoo of naked women on a man’s body is the fact that they may feel like they don’t physically compare to the woman in ink, which can make her feel very insecure about her own body.

In the age of social media, it’s easy to think that Facebook and Twitter are going to make it easier for you to connect with women. After all, you can hook up with women, friend them on your social media accounts, and hook up with them at the click of a button the next time you want to get together, right? Unfortunately, it doesn’t exactly work like that. You can wind up making far more poor decisions than good ones if you start trying to use social media to help with your hookups. Here are some of the ways we’ve found you can mess up your social life by doing the wrong thing on your social media accounts.

Mentioning Her By Name

When women decide to meet up with men from online, they’re going to Google those men before meeting up with them in person. It’s just something women do to try and avoid getting hurt. You want to make sure she’s going to find what you want her to find. You also have to make sure that your family (and whose family isn’t online these days?) isn’t going to get the wrong idea about some girl you’re just bringing home once and never planning to see again. Go ahead and say that you have a date tonight, but don’t say “I have a date with Gina tonight” unless you want 20 messages asking who she is.

Posting Pics of Other Girls

The more pictures of women you have on your social media accounts, the more like a player you’re going to look. If you don’t want a woman to think you can’t be trusted with her for even a night, you’re not going to want to have a computer or a social network full of a bunch of pictures of other women. This news might also get around, especially if you live in a small town. Don’t make yourself look suspicious, and keep your photos of these women on your camera or phone.

Not Locking Your Private Account

If just anyone can access your account, just anyone can see all the things you post that are supposed to be private. If you want to have an account just for friends and family and another for random strangers you meet (and slags you shag), that’s fine. Just don’t let them intermingle with your parents who are just figuring out that the “status update” box isn’t actually a search engine.

Friending Everyone You Know

The last thing you want is for all of your hookups to hook up. Make sure you’re keeping the women you just met once (and only intend to meet once) off of your private page, and out of your private information if you don’t want a massive storm to start brewing. Just think: your one-night stand could be chatting with your mum by suppertime, and who knows what she’ll do with that information? It’s better not to risk it, even if it means it’s a little more difficult to hook up.

If you’re planning to hook up with some local slags, you’re probably going to find women who are willing to try some pretty crazy positions. While some of these are a lot of fun, others sound like a good idea at the time…until you actually give them a try. Then, you realize that popular media and your bloke friends have lied to you, and there is such a thing as bad sex. This makes everything awkward, so here are a few of the positions we’ve found are nowhere near as much fun as telly and our friends have made it seem.

Up Against a Wall

The image of having sex up against a wall sounds like a lot of fun. Of course, if you’re not one of the few men who has a ridiculous amount of upper body strength, this might not be nearly as fun for you as you might think. When you do it up against the wall, there’s also height to consider. If you’re taller than she is, you’re either going to have to bend your knees the whole time or lift her up, which isn’t much fun for either of you. If she’s taller than you, forget it: this isn’t going to work no matter what you do or how strong you are, unless she wants to shove YOU up against the wall.

In the Shower

There are few movies about sex that haven’t glorified the sexy shower hookup. This is a great place, we’ve heard countless times, for hooking up AFTER the hookup, and trying to get a last bang out of a slag before you say goodbye. It’s a great and sexy way to sleep with a woman who’s nervous about germs as well…except that it’s not as fun as it sounds, so stop coveting the shower hookup. If you’ve ever been inside a woman or even your own hand, you know that lubrication is the key. The biggest problem with the shower hookup is the fact that there is no lubrication that won’t immediately wash away with the water, so everything is going to be dry and uncomfortable. There’s also the fact that you’re an easy slip away from a pretty uncomfortable injury, so be careful if you choose to ignore our advice.

Over a Table

The ultimate in spontaneous hookups, the over-the-table hookup sounds like a lot of fun, but is a lot of work. More than being a lot of work, it’s also horrifically uncomfortable for the woman that’s slammed over a hard piece of wood. There’s a reason that hooking up in a bed is so much fun—it’s soft, it’s supportive, and you can both sink into the bed when you’re finished. When you hook up over a table, someone is going to get all bruised up, and a woman that you don’t mind bruising is a woman that isn’t going to hook up with you again in the near future, more than likely.

Whether you live in a big city or a small town, you’re probably used to driving at least some of the time. A record high number of Brits now own their own vehicle, according to a recent census, and more and more men are using their cars to get to and from hookups. This does seem to make sense, at first—it puts you in control of the situation, and shows off to this woman that you have enough cash to buy a vehicle of your own. However, we’ve found that using public transport like the Tube is far superior for the purposes of hooking up than driving your own car could ever be—and we have our reasons.

Never Worry About Drinking Too Much

You might be fine to drive after one drink, or you might not. If you’re not going to hook up at the bar you’re meeting at, you’re going to need to get there at some point. If both of you are having a good time at the bar chatting and drinking, you might not want to call it an early evening. If you’re planning on walking, taking a bus, or taking the Underground to your hotel, you don’t have to worry about it. Go ahead and have another drink, but be careful not to overdo it. You still want both of you to enjoy the after-party, after all—and alcohol is not the best way to make sure you’re performing to your fullest abilities.

Never Get Trapped

If you start drinking too much, the bartender is likely to take your keys immediately away. If not, you could wind up having a dangerous crash. Even if you do leave your car at the bar where you’re hooking up, this presents a few sticky dilemmas. If you hook up at the hotel above the bar, what happens if you’re finished with your hookup after a couple of hours, and she wants to leave? You’re likely still intoxicated to some degree, and won’t be able to drive her anywhere. If you’re not hooking up above the bar, you’re going to have to go back and get your car in the morning, which means you’re paying for parking at a place where you’re not even spending the night. Taking public transportation is a much easier way to get around this.

Reduce Spending

Petrol prices never seem to do anything other than rise, and leaving the car at home is a great way to reduce at least that amount of spending. You’re also reducing your money issues by avoiding the congestion charge, if you’re looking to shag a slag in a big city like London. While you might not see this as significant, £20 for an evening is a bit excessive if you’re planning to hook up around this area a few times a week. This isn’t counting any parking tickets you may acquire, or the cost of tickets and fines if you do drive while intoxicated.

One of the best things you can do for your sex life is to build a steady pipeline of women. The easiest way to do this is to see the same women over and over, adding new ones when you want to replace the ones you’re finished with. Of course, this is easier with some women than with others, but some are worth the effort. If you are planning on seeing a woman multiple times, there are a few things you need to do to make sure she wants to continue hooking up with you as well.

Don’t Forget to Call

One of the worst things you can do for adding a woman to your little black book is to sleep with her, then forget to contact her until you want to get laid again. This makes her feel like you think of her as just a hole to stick it into when you have the urge. While she knows you’re going to be meeting for sex and nothing more, you still want to let her know that she’s crossed your mind a few times in the interim. A day or two after your tryst, send her a quick text just to make sure she’s doing all right. Don’t call for a week, but a week is a good amount of time. Just tell her you had a good time, and you’d like to meet again sometime. This will let her know that you’re thinking about her, without being so frequent that it’s clingy or overbearing.

Remember Her Name

We cannot stress enough how important it is to remember a woman’s name. This is the number one thing that will make even the dirtiest slag decide you’re not worth another hookup. If you’re bad with names and faces, keep a printout of her dating profile in your little black book. Jot down some notes about her next to her name, don’t just put her number and name into your phone. This is the kind of thing that she won’t really notice if you do it right—but it’s a complete dealbreaker if you mess it up.

Don’t Become a Boyfriend

You might think that the worst thing that can happen is that your hookup doesn’t call you back. In fact, it is the opposite. If she calls you back too much, get ahead of the situation immediately. You don’t want her thinking that you’re some kind of boyfriend that she can call up every time she has an emotionally draining day and wants to blow off some steam. If she’s calling because she wants some action, that’s one thing. But if she’s calling you a few times a week, or if she wants to hook up and “just talk,” you’re not getting what you want out of this “relationship.” Cut her to the curb, and make sure you lose her phone number. Otherwise, you could wind up with too many girlfriends and not enough time to enjoy them.

There are some advantages to small town life—but when it comes to hooking up with sexy slags, the win definitely goes to those who live in cities. If you’re hooking up somewhere that there’s a large scene, you’re going to have the best luck for finding women. This may seem obvious (more women in a smaller area means more chances for hookups), but you might not be taking full advantage of all of your opportunities. Cities provide great ways for you to hook up with women, and you have to make sure you’re taking advantage of all of them if you want to maximize the number of hookups you’re getting.

Use Free Events

There are endless opportunities to see nature in small towns—but not much. In a big city, however, there are countless forms of free entertainment. Better, in the big city everything tends to be open much later, making it easier for you to spend time with your ladyfriend at any time of day. If you’re not exactly flush with cash at the moment, this can be a lifesaver. You won’t even need to pay for a meal or drinks at a restaurant if you take her on a walking date through the lit-up streets, and you can always make sure you’re getting the most of a date by walking her just past the hotel where you’re planning to end the evening.

Know Your Routes

Very few things make a woman feel more interested in spending time with a man than when he seems in control of the situation. Women are always attracted to men of means and influence, even if they’re not doing it consciously. This means that if you’re going to take her for a cheap date, even if it doesn’t look cheap, you’re better off asserting the fact that you’re in control of the situation. Make sure you know the area you’re taking her to before you go there. You’ll be able to pull off looking like a man of knowledge and confidence even if you’re there for the first time, as long as you know where you’re going.

Become a Regular

One thing that can end hookups unfortunately early is the fact that many women are reluctant to go home with men they’ve just met. This is, in large part, due to the fact that women are conditioned to be afraid of strange men they’ve just met for the first time. This is true even if you’ve been talking for a while online. If you take a woman somewhere they know your name, especially if you can order “the usual,” she’s going to instantly feel more at ease around you. Nothing is less trustworthy than a man who’s just come to town, and you want her to be able to trust you implicitly, if not explicitly. The man behind the bar who gave you a friendly nod as you entered is now your best friend and wingman.

Hooking up and getting laid is one of the best things you can do as a man to keep your life simple and fun. You get all the benefits of sex, without any of the setbacks of having a girlfriend. No one is going to care if you stare at a random woman’s ass, but you still get to go home with the girl at the end of the night. As such, it’s important to keep your hookups easy and free of drama. There are a few easy ways to make sure that your hookups aren’t going to take over your life, and we’ve written out a few of our favorite tips for keeping your hookups easy.

Keep Them Away From Your Life

We know it’s really tempting to take a hookup back to your apartment. However, there are some considerations to think about before you make that choice. First, how comfortable are you with having her in your place? You probably have at least a few nice things there that you wouldn’t want stolen. You don’t know this woman (which is sort of the point), and you wouldn’t invite just anyone into your home. Second, are you sure you want her knowing where you live?

Another part of this is social media. Don’t friend this woman on Facebook. Don’t invite her to chat any time. Don’t follow her on twitter. Make sure you keep your hookup life separate from your private life.

Keep Them Brief

If you keep your hookups short, you’ll have a much smaller chance of having them become something high-stress. The best way to do this is to limit your hookups to one time and one time only, but you might not want to do that. After all, many girls are willing to hook up several times with the same man, and keeping her number can mean a few nights in the future where you don’t have to spend the evening alone.

Stick to three “dates” maximum. This will ensure that you’re always having the highest amount of fun with the lowest amount of mess that you might have to deal with later.

Keep Them Cheap

The only things you should be buying a hookup are a small gift, a drink or two at a bar, and a hotel room. Anything else, and you’re wasting your cash that you could be spending on the next hookup. Keep any gifts you bring under $10, and make sure that you’re not spending way too much on the hotel room. You’re just looking for a classy place to hook up—do you really need a deep-soaking tub? Similarly at the bar, you should only be spending enough for one drink to get her in the mood, and maybe a couple more. If you get her too drunk, the night isn’t going to be fun for either of you. If you don’t want to hold a stranger’s hair back while she throws up, don’t buy her more than three drinks max.

If you’ve been around the dating scene for a while, you’re probably well aware that one of the most annoying parts of dating is the very first stage—when you’re trying to tell whether a woman will be open to your advances or not. However, there’s a second layer to it. Even if a woman is interested, how do you know she’ll put out fast? We’ve put together a list of tips garnered from our personal experience to help you tell whether a woman is willing to put out or not from a single glance.

Her Dress

A lot of guides will tell you that if a woman is dressed “slutty,” she’s going to put out. We’re actually going to warn you against thinking like that, for a few reasons. The thing is, if she THINKS she’s dressed slutty, she’s probably going to be the kind of shy girl who just wants to have a good night out with her friends. It’s the girls that wear insanely short skirts and low-cut tops that think they’re all the way covered up that are the ones who are really willing to go home with you on the first date. You want a girl that looks very comfortable in the clothes she’s wearing, no matter what they are, because that’s a girl that’s comfortable with her own body. Those are the ones who are way more likely to put out for you.

Her Posture

A lot of guys strike out over and over again because they can’t read a woman’s body language. This is actually very easy to master. A couple things to look for that will let you know a woman is uncomfortable are if she’s hunched over, or if she’s constantly tugging at her clothes to make them sit a certain way. This means she’s nervous. On the other hand, if she touches her own hiar a lot, or touches her chest and then touches your shoulder or hand, she’s making clear invitations and signs that she’s ready to take things a little further. Learn to watch for the ways she moves, and you’ll see just how ready she is to take things to the next level.

What She’s Drinking

What a woman is drinking says a lot about her intentions for the evening. If she’s drinking a single glass of wine in a bar, she’s probably not looking to go home with anyone. If, on the other hand, you see that she’s drinking hard liquor when she’s alone, she’s probably having some kind of an evening where she needs stress relief or comfort, either of which is a good sign for you. If she’s drinking shots, she’s already half out the door with the first guy that will support her weight. If she’s ordering something non-alcoholic, however, this is a wild card. While you might think that some women who drink non-alcoholic drinks are prudes, sometimes they’re recovering alcoholics who still like to go to bars and get crazy.

Hookups are all well and good, but sometimes you need a hookup that offers a little something…extra. In these situations, you’re going to want a girl who isn’t just interested in wine, a good time, and going to sleep right after. How do you know before going out with her whether a woman is into hardcore kinbaku from Japan, or if she’s going to want to roll around in a vat of jello with you and three other women?

Fortunately, there are some ways to tell whether a woman is going to be into really kinky things without waiting and asking at the last moment. If you know whether the girl you’re going to see is going to be open to your ideas, you’re far more likely to have a good time.

Look At Her Profile

Most girls will not put on their profile that they like to “get freaky.” If they do, here’s a hint: they probably don’t. The girls who usually say that they enjoy kinky sex are the ones that enjoy the idea of perhaps being blindfolded, or maybe would consider kissing another woman if they were drunk. These aren’t the women who are into anything really crazy, so don’t expect them to be. Instead, look for the women that are a little shyer about it, who will say things like, “I know what I want, and I know how to get it,” or, “I’m looking for a man who can give me exactly what I want.” These women are rarely looking for plain vanilla sex when they talk like that. Instead, they want a man who can satisfy their every desire, crazy or not.

Check Out Her Pictures

You probably won’t get so lucky that the woman you’re seeing will have pictures of her in a sex dungeon or anything. However, it can be worth it to see what she looks like for other reasons. Hair that’s dyed a crazy color can usually signify that a woman isn’t shy about experimenting. Another thing that can usually tell you that is whether she has clearly visible tattoos, or piercings somewhere other than her ears. These are all quick and easy ways to see if she’s open to trying new things. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s at least something of a hint.

Send a Message

If all else fails and you’re just not sure whether you’ll be able to get freaky with this girl or not, bite the bullet and send her a message. There are going to be hundreds if not thousands of other girls on these sites who will date you even if you do ask them to do something crazy, so don’t be too afraid about driving away a chance at sex. There will always be more girls. Take the leap and ask her to share one of her fantasies with you first. If she’s shy, offer to share one of your own. That way it won’t be so strange.